I Survived Wisconsin Dells, Part 2

Let me first explain that we had a great time in the Dells, even though Part 1 of this blog entry was less than complimentary. See, readers would be bored to tears if I just talked about how wonderful our vacation was. There's nothing entertaining about "happily ever after."

I also want to thank my friend Brigitte for schooling me on the Wisconsin Ducks. These boats are so named because they can go from water to land. That's kinda cool. I do wish we had a chance to go on a duck ride. Maybe next time.

Here are some additional observations about Wisconsin Dells:

We saw a billboard for a gentleman's club named "Wisconsin Dolls." Again, classy!

A sign at the tattoo shop said something to the effect that they do not tattoo anyone who is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, SO DON'T EVEN ASK. I really wanted to take a picture of the sign, but there was a surly bald man working in the store and I didn't want to explain myself.

We went to Pizza Pub for dinner per recommendation of my seven-year-old son who remembered eating there on a summer camp field trip. I was impressed by their billboard that boasted "more than 50 items on our salad bar." I was disappointed to see that those items did not include fresh fruit. As I looked at their prepared salad selection, a potato salad caught my eye. The potato appeared to be sliced, not cubed. I am glad I read the sign on the salad bar before putting some on my plate. It was herring!

The worst part about our trip to the Dells really had nothing to do with Wisconsin, but rather my own squeamishness over a certain part of the human body: feet. I tried my hardest not to look directly at all the bare feet in the water park, lest I lost my lunch. I came face-to-foot with some kid's feet in the wave pool as he cruised the water on an inner tube. I have to say that after several days in the water, my own feet are ready for sandals. I guess the surface of the pools works as well as a pedicure. Maybe even as good as a live fish pedicure. Ewww.

As promised, I have a story about the wave pool at the Wilderness Resort. While my husband and son tackled the water slides, my four-year-old daughter and I headed to the wave pool. She loved it right away. We spent most of our time in water that was about 30 inches deep which required me to squat most of the time. (My legs have a new found respect for MLB catchers!) After an hour or so, the boys caught up with us and I asked me husband a question I had been pondering.

"This water doesn't seem to have that chlorine taste to it. It wouldn't be a salt water pool, would it?"

My husband dipped his fingers in the water, tasted, shook his head, and answered, "Jen, I think you're tasting other people's sweat."

I'm still gagging at that one. But if any reader has insider information about the water content of wave pools, I would love to hear from you.